Christmas is overrated so is family

So it was Christmas eve we were all excited hitting up  those people we haven't seen in weeks, months or even years. Running up and down shopping for this and that. Getting ready for  the big day in every way possible...yes I know some of you still buy clothes for Christmas.

It's just a day like any other by the way. I don't know who said Jesus was born on this day but either way, its a day to commemorate the birth of our saviour Jesus Christ. I  wasnt born in any year that has BC as a suffix so don't ask me when he was actually born because I also don't know and am done with arguing/politicking.. we have had a year of that. Ok culture/religion/common sense et al are all in check with Christmas..well its beyond my control.

But why do we really celebrate Christmas? Why do we go through all the trouble of emptying our bank accounts just for one day? I enjoy meeting up those people I haven't seen in ages I enjoy spending time with good company I also love to eat. I  successfully quit alcohol so I will pretend that it didn't feature anywhere in my celebrations. The festive season is a good way to end a year and usher in another. We thank God for that time between 25th December and 1st January. That time you don't know if its Tuesday Wednesday or Thursday.That time you don't even know what date of day you in. That time you leave your house for bread and milk and come back the day after, without the bread and milk.I don't have a name for it so al just call it "that time".

Back to Christmas. We as Christians celebrate Christmas as a day our saviour was born to earth.Our friends and relatives in other religions also celebrate this day maybe by virtue of the availability of free food and drinks, we can't say no to a good time can we.For most of us its a day to be with family thats why my luyha brothers from Ungwaro, Kayole and the likes move their entire households to the village, home is where the sofa set is I guess.Its a day of merry and devouring chicken and goats its a day to quench all our different thirsts and over indulge in some of our habits. Its also a day to be thankful for living through the year. Believe you me, I can't be more thankful. This year had me on edge. (Story for another audience)

Then there is this crop of humans who have a different view altogether about this day. Am talking about that "doing well" aunt,uncle or cousin. These are people who you need more than self confidence to deal with.  These are the people that send more money home and think they run the show via remote control all the way from Nairobi, Mombasa Nakuru and any other town us people from the village need to make prior appointments before we can visit. These people actually think they piss apple juice. "Hio maji ya chupa ni ya watu wa Nairobi." They want to be treated like demigods and feel like they are the best thing that happened to the world after sliced bread. Their children should be given preferential treatment. They even have meal timetables and temperatures of water to bathe in.

If you host this children your day will be punctuated with phonecalls of dos and donts after every fifteen minutes. These kids don't mingle. They find corners with the best internet connection and tweet away all day. They will only talk to you when they need their wheetabix which is getting finished since the other village kids want to eat too. The best thing these kids can do is eat and ask for powerbanks or Wi-Fi.
Their folks on the other hand behave like they are Jesus and have just been born . Christmas day is always about them.

They will arrive late first of all then throw a tantrum when you don't go help them offload shopping from their borrowed or hired cars. They will want grilled chicken and chilled juice yet its them we were waiting for to bring these things from the city. They will ask how our children performed in their respective exams then dish out gifts (read old clothes and toys their children don't use anymore  ) respectively. Then they will give us a lecture on family planning yet the same many kids are their man servants for the day.  They will greedily eat all the food they brought then start asking around for the local bars and just like that they disappear in the same thin air they came from. They leave their kids with one simple instruction, " tukirudi mkue tayari twende." Then the little brats will wastefully devour all the snacks pour juice on each other and break any kitchenware they find in their way very much to the chagrin of their helpless grandma who is painstakingly busy putting farm produce together for the trip back to the city, talk about give and take huh.
The older gals are always busy forcing us into their pictures and snapchats with silly hashtags and those posses you would think they are suffering from rickets. The boys are in heated discussions about things we haven't heard of before but am sure its about the village beauties judging from the way they look at  them.

So we are busy putting things back in order, our wives washing dishes with a smile but their gossip says it all, they can't wait for these bozos to leave. Well the odds are in their favour as we hear big engines approach the compound( who else could it be, we only hear and see these things during Christmas). The little devils are excited judging from their oily lips and stained t-shirts. The big boys wish their parents could stay out longer untill we understood their lingo and smuggled some alcohol for them.

"Mko tayari?" an aunt shouts as she gets out of her car pacing around for her little devils. As she puts her cutlery back together we are busy transporting  bananas, maize, beans and fruits to their cars. They bite of as much as they can before they run into the cars. Our wives are cowering behind the living room curtains, " tumekuja kusema bye" of course they have come from some " kitu kidogo" and promises to be invited to the city.
Grandma prays and our guests are ready to go... selfies and more selfies.. (we won't even see them, we don't have smartphones) niceties and they are gone. Just like that life goes back to normal.

So long see you next Christmas. Duh!!

Comments

Assertive said…
Too damn overrated..
Good read

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