Don't Bring Your Guns Out To Town

Whoever said alcohol and medicine doesn't mix wasn't lying. They definitely weren't telling the whole truth either because that shit (uuuhh I said it) doesn't mix with a whole lot of stuff either; Egos, vehicles, judgment, logic and other people's women just to mention a few from that long list you already have. But most importantly, egos and other people's women. ( Yes, I said people- its 2020 and the "woke" society have their women too!)

I had to find this out the hard way once, well maybe not once but 57 or around 80 times, you never really learn your lessons with alcohol.

The past December holidays didn't miss out on their own fair share of drama. Like I said in an earlier post, we were parte after parte(I don't know why everytime I say this, a figure of some short plump guy dancing always comes to my mind.) Anyway, this was just one of those days all you really wanted to do was get to the shop and buy eggs,how you found yourself in the bar cannot even be described by your ancestors and those aunts of yours who are in touch with nature and their spirituality.

Omurwe( probably his real name), those guys who can drown a whole  distillery and still get home? You know that character right? Yes.. Ooh Lord the friends you put before me? Now I would have loved to talk about that day but I still can't remember what ensued I can only remember how it ended. I hope you have a pictorial imagination of the bagger I mentioned before. Yes, your ultimate sherehe partner, those kufa gari kufa dereva party animals!

It was a blur, we had found ourselves in town a couple of kilometers from where our ride was to drop us. My modus operandi has always been not to make sudden decisions while my mind is not thinking straight. Its the safe thing to do plus I have immense faith in my bladder so when the idiot thought it wise to find a back alley to empty his Guinness clogged kidneys, I stayed back in the car and made boring conversation with the damsel we had in our company.

Pah! Commotion, big big insults! The type I can't type here unless am looking for a reason to make Mwalimu call pastor and watu wa kanisa on me. I had to let my window down to see what was going on. Curiosity you know? There he was mid-air ! Being tossed around like an oversized teddy bear. He fought for balance but it was elusive, the other guy had a vice like grip around his throat. But you know ego, Omurwe like the hard head he is was not backing down, he threw punches that landed in the air and messed up his balance even more, and a loud mouth is not always the smartest. (I know he will kill me for this but if I die this story has to be worth it right?) His polo shirt was now shreds of its former glory. It was at that moment I knew I had to be a hero and flung into action like Batman from his batmobile.


It wasn't curiosity that was going to kill this cat,maybe bravado. I got in the middle of them just in time to hear a gun cock.  I would have frozen in my tracks but I chose to run in them, only this time dragging a six something feet drunk man with me to safety! I don't know what I said to the oppressor but whatever it was it got him to lower his weapon and act with some rationale. To date, I don't know what it is they were fighting about. I guess it must have been the size of their guns but one of them got agitated and brought the wrong gun to the fight.  The way we cleared the area would have been confused for a scene in an action movie, frightened and fast. But egos and alcohol!

There have been numerous cases of licenced firearm holders behaving badly and I say this from an informed point of view. Most of these incidents have been from people of might trying to show entitlement and flexx their overgrown egos. I get it, carrying a gun around might be prestigious , I also want to own one day ( yes I want to graduate from those nerf guns and water pistols)  But I don't want people to fear me, I want to participate in shooting competitions and protect the people close to me when faced with eminent danger, I also want to save lives, but moreover, I want to be part of something, people that believe in a greater good and just not shooters for fun. I want to inspire and teach. An example of such is the National Gun Owners Association (Ngao) who I believe need to re evaluate their members and call for a fresh vetting for registered gun holders. But most of all I want to Walk out of a bar and go home  without fearing that I might end up with with a bullet logged in my neck or that I might be the one to deliver bad news to someone's folks.

Keep the streets safe, keep the entertainment joints safe. Don't bring your guns out to town.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hilarious yet informative. Keep writing 👊

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